Dreading the shorter days? Wondering how you will survive the holidays? Let me help you with some simple skills I use myself to cope with stress and “dark days.”

Let me preface this list by stating that I am not a professional. My experience is purely personal. However, I have been in treatment for mental health disorders for nearly 20 years, and these are some of the things I have found that work for me and other people in the mental wellness community.

1. Read. Working in a library, I like to read. It allows me to escape into another place.
2. Research something new. This is a recent skill I picked up, but I always enjoy learning about new things.
3. Spend time scrolling through topics on a positive site like Pinterest. I usually avoid other social media when I feel down due to negativity, but on places like Pinterest, I can choose the topics I look at.
4. Write in a journal. Sometimes I have a hard time finding words to describe my moods/feelings to others, so writing gives me another way. Other times I just write for my own benefit.
5. Watch animal videos that are funny and entertaining.
6. Play with a pet if you own one, or go to the shelter and walk/pet the animals there.
7. Spend time with an object that is meaningful to you. It could be a photo, a blanket, a stuffed animal, or other item. Mine is an afghan my mother made for me as a child. It has always been comforting.
8. Meditate or pray. There are lots of books in the library on these topics.
9. Take a hot bath or shower.
10. Create and use a sensory box. I have a small decorative box that looks like a treasure chest. Inside are items that appeal to my five senses like candy, scented oils, a soft cloth, inspirational songs I like, and photos of people I love.
11. Power nap. There is nothing wrong with resting for 10-30 minutes.
12. “Belly breathing.” This is a technique good for stress. To learn it, lay on your back, place your hands over your stomach just under the ribs, and breathe deeply. Watch your stomach rise and fall. If your chest and shoulders are moving, you are still “chest breathing.” Really try to get the breath to expand your diaphragm. Once learned, you can use it while upright.
13. Music, television, movies, or other distractions to take your mind off things.
14. Coloring pages or crafts.
15. Call/text and friend or relative. I don’t even have to talk about what is bothering me. Just the social contact helps sometimes. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has a Warmline here in Missouri that you can use to connect with someone, even for a few minutes. The number is 800-374-2138. They are NOT there 24/7. However, if you need the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, the number is 800-273-8255.
16. Pamper yourself for $5! Some of the commercial hair salons will wash and dry your hair for a low price. Not only is this soothing, but it can also be another social outlet if that is something that is difficult for you.
17. Go for a walk.
18. Set a budget for “retail therapy.” I tend to be impulsive, so I take just a set small amount of cash and wander around several stores for enjoyment. I leave the plastic at home.
19. Do something nice for someone else. This can be someone close to you, a stranger you hold a door for, or you can take it a step further and volunteer. Even one hour a month adds up and can give you a feeling of satisfaction.
20.  Some days are so difficult  with depression you may have to go by the clock. Is it something you can accomplish in a minute? Less than 5 minutes? Less than 10? I start and if I can’t finish, I tell myself it is okay and try later.
21.  Get up and get dressed every day. This can be difficult for those with chronic depression, but even if I have no plans to leave the house, I still get up and dress myself.
22. Set a small goal, achieve it, repeat. Don’t make a huge to-do list. Just one goal at a time will do. Be sure to write it down so you can cross it off. It is very invigorating.
23. Use other types of lists to stay organized. I especially need to do this during the holidays. I have list of gifts I want to purchase and who they are for as an example. Traveling? Make a standard packing list of things you normally take with you and adapt it for each trip.
24. Wrap as you buy. If you are in the habit of buying gifts for others for the holidays, don’t wait to wrap them. Wrap as you buy so you don’t have all of that stress waiting for you in December.
25. Spread out the shopping. Only do a little per week over the span of a couple of months. It helps with stress and eases finances.
26. There is no such thing as perfect. Keep in mind you will not have a perfect holiday or find the perfect gifts. But that is not what your family will remember. They will remember the fun, so just try to relax and enjoy.
27. Family stressing you out? Try slipping out to another room or outdoors for about 5 minutes, just to take a break.
28. Set boundaries before the gathering if needed. If you know your family argues about certain things, gently suggest beforehand that they stay off of those red button issues during family time.
29. There can also be physical reasons for depleted energy such as lowered Vitamin D levels or thyroid issues. See your healthcare professional if it has been awhile since your last checkup.
30. Sometimes, none of these things are sufficient. If you feel you are a danger to yourself or others, please seek help immediately. Call 911 or have someone you trust get you to the nearest emergency room.

           I hope these tips help you manage your stress and the shorter days this season. Have a safe and happy holiday season from the Missouri River Regional Library family to yours.